Hello all, I know haven’t updated in a bit but I’ve been quite busy preparing for a dinner party I threw last night! It went swimmingly, and I definitely got to show off the cooking skills I picked over this break from my recently cut food network and Bravo’s Chef Academy (which I mainly started watching because of the totally hot ex-porn star student Emmanuel, but then got hooked). Anyway after doing loads and loads and loads of dishes today I decided to put my feet up and take a nice rest and so I popped in a movie, what movie you might ask? Well, in my new pursuit of being like Audrey Hepburn I of course picked something with her, and so I ended up watching Sabrina for the very first time – and my word, my has no one ever told me to watch that movie??? I saw so many similarities….and not all necessarily good — like not getting over crushes, though I do think I’m a bit better than she was….On the good side of the similarities list though is the pursuit of being a ‘grown-up’ , reaching for the moon, and cooking! It was delightful…
However the not getting over crushes brings me to a debate of thoughts I’ve had in my head: Is it better to have an unrequited love type crush and be single OR to not like anybody at all and be single?
You see when I’ve been single in the past it wasn’t because I didn’t like anyone it was because the person I liked didn’t like me back or at least not in the way I liked them….but now however, I realized the other day, I don’t like anyone. I mean yes I still lust after certain celebrities, but I don’t truly ‘want’, for lack of a better word, any normal, every day person who’s in my life and/or even semi-attainable….Now I’m pretty content right now – happy, doing exciting things, on the track to success at school and in my work, great friends, in a good place with my family….I’m even happy about not having a romantic someone – BUT none the less – that did not stop that wanting pang from emerging in my heart and soul this past weekend when I saw South Pacific and the lead sang “I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love with a wonderful guy”….
I didn’t even have anyone I could wish I could say that about and that left me feeling….uncertain. Not happy, and not really lonely but kinda….and not sad but sort of — ya know just totally uncertain of what I felt about that and so the question came to my mind – is it better to be single due to unrequited love or due to just not ‘wanting’ anyone????
I still haven’t found an answer….and I’m still uncertain….but I’m leaning, finally, towards it’s better to be single due to not wanting, that way it’s your choice and you’re open to the idea of seeing someone if they approach you…. but again, I’m still uncertain. hmmm…
Well I still haven’t read the next chapters of either “How to be Lovely” or “Flat Belly Diet” but I hope to do that tonight before the Grey’s Anatomy – Private Practice crossover….
<3 be back later.
