Sorry for the absence – I was way busier then I thought I’d be while working the show but on the upside I did stick to my writing goal anf made some major progress on a few pieces.

During my absence much has gone up and down in my life. I’ve actually been so turbulent that I feel like I just am weighed down and need a good rest to ease it all off, but that won’t happen because the earth keeps turning and life keeps going and we just don’t get breaks like that…

I’ll touch on a few of these turbulences now:

1. I have a friend who graduated last year. He’s a really good guy but he tends to like to drink —  a lot. He visited this past weekend and at first it was great — it was surreal to see him after months and months of communicating only via facebook and I was so glad. We were all having a really good time but soon we were all just hanging out and he was shitfaced…I’d never experienced him in that way before and it made me very uncomfortable and made me question alot of ideas I had about him. I had held him on a very very high pedestal and in that moment my image of him came crashing down to the dirt. After much thought I’ve sort of found a middle ground where I hold him as normal but acknowledge his faults (like consistently disappointing me) while still maintaining that he has been a great friend to me in the past. I just wonder when that shift occurred or if it had always been that way and I just didn’t see it — how didn’t I see it?
2. The next saga in my life right now is that I am surrounded by Greeks — meaning frat/sorority people, not the culture. It is a problem. I personally don’t agree with the whole system of it very much but I have a billion friends who are in them or going through to be in one and yes I am happy for them and if it worked for them – great! I’m glad — it’s just not for me but this fact is leading to more turmoil in my psyche then you could ever possibly know. It’s just very frustrating — I feel like I’m the only non-Greek in an ocean full of Greeks, just struggling to stay afloat.
3. My room-mate is one of the above mentioned Greek to bes and due to this she must live on their floor next year – yay for her — I could even go with her if I wanted. But I really don’t want to and that leaves me room mateless..All my friends have room mates they like and the ones who might not would not want to live where I want to next year. You see I really want to live on this one floor where a bunch of people from my theatre grade are going to be — because I feel really disconnected and would love to be able to hang out with them more and get to know them all better but I can’t do that if I’m living in East bum-fuck. So I really want to live on their floor — except now that I don’t have a room-mate I need to find someone who also wants to live there — hard. Not to mention the fact that even if it all does go well, I need to battle through the housing process to get there and I’m really scared I’m not going to make it on….then I’ll be stuck living in Sorority land – God fucking help me.
4. Last of the top things on a long list: I’m working another show. rumor has it, it sucks….I’m upset.

So as you can see I’m a bit bitter and stressed right now………..breaks not even going to help because all my friends are home the next week after me, so I’m going to be home, alone. with all these thoughts — yay life.

There is something very special about seeing a GOOD show — not just high quaility, not just a spectacular cast, not just spot on directing, but all these and more elements combined —- I go to an especially great school for this — filled with amazingly talented people. And I saw two equally – Astonishing -productions this week.

One a fully backed by the school, mainstage spectacle of a production – with full period costumes, a trained director, a set fit for Broadway and a cast that could win Tonys….it was GOOD.

The other was an underground covert secret operation that was a one night labor of love that was put on in a basement, advertised only by word of mouth, with bleachers as a set, sparse costumes but commitment that blew my socks away and direction that picked up on nuances and minute details like that I’ve never seen before. Not to emntions an AWESSSSOOOOMMMMEEEEE CAST and fantastic music that combined together rocked the house harder then I’ve heard an actual rock star rock the very same score.

This is all very inspiring and I am extremely blessed and lucky to go to a school so filled over the brim like this with pure, genius, talent.

So thank you to all who make that possible.

If any of you don’t know who Hungry Girl is well you should! She’s this awesome chick that sends daily(I think) e-mails with tips for eating right and losing weight and being healthy, there’s also a website and I think there might even be books now….I discovered it during a desperate google search a few years ago and have been a subscriber ever since but have unfortunately not been an active participant, banning the e-mails to my trash can – claiming I “didn’t have time” to read them. But then today I was going through a much overflowing inbox, found a bunch of them and READ THEM! It’s sooo going to become part of my daily routine now….

Coincidentally, yahoo posted an article today about “The 11 foods you aren’t eating” – well actually they just posted the link – it’s really an article from the NY Times:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/30/the-11-best-foods-you-arent-eating/ (<< That’s where you can find it)

It was really interesting and might add in my quest to build my own customized diet, which will have a food journal incorporated in it — all the books and people say it helps so by golly I’m going to do it even if I do thin k it sounds slightly ridiculous to write down everything I eat in a little notebook…..

In other news, I realized I haven’t talked much on here about one of the biggest parts of my life: My school work.

No, I don’t mean essays and papers and reports; I mean the work I do for my school’s theatre programming. Required for my major I work on the school’s productions, required by my selected career path it helps me build a resume. And it consumes a very large part of my time….I focus on stage management and last year I did three productions as the assistant stage manager. Basically what that means is rehearsal from 6:30 to 11 every week night, 11:30 to 6:30 on Saturdays and then extra hours (sometimes) for tech week (also known as hell week) and dress rehearsals; then we’re into the show where the hours thankfully lessen but I’m backstage standing and dealing with the chaos Wed – Sat. and 1 Sun. for 2 weeks….Don’t think I’m complaining! I adore it — it’s fun for me, it’s how I made most of my friends….and it’s really great training for when I’m really working….but it is a big time commitment so I find it funny I haven’t said anything on here about it…It’s ecspecially funny b/c come Monday I’ll be starting “The Dance Project” , a dance showcase in our black box theater, but I’m not going to be the assistant — it’s the first time I’ll actually be the stage manager and I’m beyond excited (and slightly nervous) but either way it’s kind of huge for me! and so I’m shocked I haven’t mentioned it….You’ll probably be hearing a lot about it in the upcoming weeks….

Oh and I have a new writing project I want to start, it’s this funny idea I have for a sitcom lol….more on it later

off to have breaky

In other news,  changed the theme of the blog layout – figured change it up a bit…

off to figure this out…

However the not getting over crushes brings me to a debate of thoughts I’ve had in my head: Is it better to have an unrequited love type crush and be single OR to not like anybody at all and be single?

You see when I’ve been single in the past it wasn’t because I didn’t like anyone it was because the person I liked didn’t like me back or at least not in the way I liked them….but now however, I realized the other day, I don’t like anyone. I mean yes I still lust after certain celebrities, but I don’t truly ‘want’, for lack of a better word, any normal, every day person who’s in my life and/or even semi-attainable….Now I’m pretty content right now – happy, doing exciting things, on the track to success at school and in my work, great friends, in a good place with my family….I’m even happy about not having a romantic someone – BUT none the less – that did not stop that wanting pang from emerging in my heart and soul this past weekend when I saw South Pacific and the lead sang “I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love with a wonderful guy”….

I didn’t even have anyone I could wish I could say that about and that left me feeling….uncertain. Not happy, and not really lonely but kinda….and not sad but sort of — ya know just totally uncertain of what I felt about that and so the question came to my mind – is it better to be single due to unrequited love or due to just not ‘wanting’ anyone????

I still haven’t found an answer….and I’m still uncertain….but I’m leaning, finally, towards it’s better to be single due to not wanting, that way it’s your choice and you’re open to the idea of seeing someone if they approach you…. but again, I’m still uncertain. hmmm…

Well I still haven’t read the next chapters of either “How to be Lovely” or “Flat Belly Diet” but I hope to do that tonight before the Grey’s Anatomy – Private Practice crossover….

<3 be back later.

New York, New York – A Helluva Town, The city that never sleeps, The big apple, the empire state, the center of the universe — my favorite place in the world.

There are so many things I love about New York….it would be almost impossible to list them all but one of them is that there is SO MUCH to do!

Now, a lot of people think you need to break the bank to have a good time in this wonderful town but that’s a load of BS! I mean you can, if you want….but there’s also A LOT of ways to save and have MAJORLY great times too!! In fact I often have more fun the times I spend the least….So here are a few of my favorite tips and tricks!

• Central Park: Is awesome! Lots of things to see, a great workout/way to get a tan (in the summer), cheap food at various intervals, beautiful, near plenty of museums and restaurants if you’d like to include it as part of a more moderate – expensive type day, carriage rides and ice skating available though the cost will vary!!! Best in the spring to early summer when it’s still cool enough that you can enjoy just walking and taking in the sites of roller bladers, painters, flea market type sales people, the free petting zoo, all the scattered statues/art work, climb the Belvedere castle, see the boats and much more – the real zoo isn’t that expensive too!! Also worth visiting while there:
• Shakespeare in the Park: Visit the theatre in the park for free Broadway quality entertainment! But arrive early, tickets go FAST!!!!
• Staying near the park, it’s always fun to walk around FAO Schwartz for an escape from the elements or a trip back to your childhood – this also applies to Toys R’ Us in Times Square
• TAKE THE SUBWAY!!! There are great, easy to use maps available and they will allow you to hop all over the city while saving money on cab fare !!
• Sticking with public transit, leave your car at home! Parking is really hard to find and usually mad expensive take a train or a bus for way less and avoid traffic, aggravation and heft fees – and help the environment a little too!
• Now if you want to stay cheap the biggest place to cut is on food….how ever that does not mean your taste buds need to suffer! One thing I L-O-V-E to do is visit the Union Square green market — tons of fresh breads, baked goods, juice, veggies – and all wayyyy cheap! A great stop for dinner, closing up at 5 there are TONS of discounts as the stuff can’t be held over night. I’m talking whole loaves of french bread for $2, muffins for $ .50….and there’s lots of other places in the area to supplement whatever you don’t find there — A Whole Foods, A cheap little deli, A Starbucks, and this great sausage place down the street.  — The best tip for finding cheap, great food is to take a trip down the side streets, you’d be shocked at the gems hidden off the beaten track… Now, if you’re looking to eat great not so off the beaten track you can get amazing pizza in the heart of Broadway right across the street from The Phantom of the Opera @ Johns Pizza, they have a small $16 pie – split with a friend, avoid liqueur and eat lite and you can escape with a  bill under $15 a piece — drink water and eat nothing else and you’re looking at a $10 pay out….Up it even more – Just next door, there’s a place called Angus McIndoe, an eatery of the Broadway insiders…. no appetizer, great filling stew dinner, water but coffee at the end – just about $20 pay out – depending on how much you tip their great wait staff….There’s lots of great cheap eats in the city, it’s just a matter of looking and sometimes ordering a bit lighter than usual….I bring snacks for the train ride in and out that way I can eat in style while there by eating a bit lighter than I usually would….
• Another great way thing about the city is the theatre, home of Broadway – most people know about this but there’s a booth in the center of Times Square with discounted tickets; long lines but for a great cause – however what most people don’t know is that there’s another booth down town at the Southstreet Seaport with shorter lines but the same great selection. For the student crowd get up early and brave the elements to stand outside theatres box offices for student rush discounts, astounding seats at a overwhemling discount! (I’m talking front row – $25 approx.) Don’t forget your student ID!!!!
• Are you a book lover? The strand bookstore near Washington Sq. Park has the largest selection I have ever seen, popular books and older more rare books – the place looks like an exploded library – you could def. get lost in it if you let yourself….the point: DISCOUNTS, DISCOUNTS, DISCOUNTS!!!!! (Often a whole $10 less than retail, sometimes more!!! Sometimes they have books you’d never even dream of finding at a retail store!)
• A great website is onlocationvacations.com – they tell you where you’re favorite actors or TV shows might be filming all over the country, often in NYC – they also list events that are occurring and what celebs might be attending a totally free and absolutely rewarding day is staking camp at the set of your fave TV show and waiting for photo ops — fun any time of year, but prob. more bearable come warmer weather….

That’s all I’ve got for now, but walk around the less touristy sections of the city and you will find even more great, affordable, fun things to do around the Isle of Manhattan! Enjoy!!

So I figure it was finally appropriate for me to post that – I went into the city on Thursday (had a great time doing many of the things listed above) and I’m going in again tomorrow (to see South Pacific)!! Been busy but more on my Flat Belly Diet plans tomorrow as well as Audrey Hepburn!

Night-Night

Last night after I posted I read the first chapter of “How to be Lovely” by Melissa Hellstern, the book about Audrey Hepburn. I also read the first chapter of “Flat Belly Diet” by Liz Vaccariello, I think what that ones about is implied….lol.

The first chapter of “How to be Lovely” was about happiness, and the tips I picked up from the lovely Ms. Hepburn were(along with some commentary from me):

• Happiness lies in how we look at things
• Being a woman is as simple as knowing who you are, and who you are not
• Happiness is health and a short memory (lol)
• Try to sparkle, life is a glorious opportunity
• Rose colored glasses might not always be such a bad idea
• Be on time (one of my best traits)
• Think of others first
• Don’t talk about yourself a lot (I think blogging might be excused…)
• Never forget manners or kindness
• Always have hope and think positively
• As long as you have your life things do not matter.
• Be serious about what counts
• Keep everything in perspective
• Appreciate safety and how quickly it can change
• Let the lessons from bad experiences turn them into positives in your life
• Be appreciative of everything good
• Respect food, freedom, health, family & life
• Value education and don’t try to hide it
• Expect less
• Be kind & generous
• The greatest accomplishments in life will happen without you seeking them
• Don’t expect anything and you won’t be bitter
• Only we ourselves know what really goes on with ourselves
• Don’t be concerned about public image
• Don’t swear on a regular basis
• Live without regret
• Have your priorities in order
• Let go of bad things, missed opportunities & what could have beens
• Have a combination of happy work and happy life
• Live a balanced life
• Remember life is too short, and therefore do what you want and appreciate what you have
• Remember work will come and go but family will always be there

Also mentioned (but not really happiness related) stand straight, sit erect, and use discipline with wine & sweets!

So those are my first lessons from Audrey and I’m going to work to incorporate them into my daily life. As a result of reading it I’m going to do two things 1) Make a list of everything good that’s happen in my life and that I’m grateful for 2) Find a small way I can help people 3) Try and have good posture (one of my worst traits).

Now onto the lessons I picked up from the first chapter of “Flat Belly Diet”:

• Eating well & being active should be your norm (duh…)
• MUFAs  – or MonoUnsaturated Fatty Acids – are really good for you, in fact – more of them in your diet can help PREVENT weight gain!!!! (wow…)
• You should feel confident, powerful and proud of your body (yeah ok…)
• Small changes can yield big results
• An average woman should eat 1600 calories a day
• Maintaining a healthy mind and body are the absolute most important things you can do for yourself

So some it’s your basic diet book fluffer crap so it’s a book and not a pamphlet but some of it is really interesting…

The diet is basically 4 days of really strict to jump-start you and get you started and then there’s a 4 week plan that involves 4 four hundred calories meals a day, MUFAs at every meal, and a daily confidence reflection  – which brings in the healthy mind piece they talked about…

MUFAs, by the way, are found in olive oil, avocados and nuts – just to name a few sources.

There’s also an **optional** exercise program!  It includes fat burning walks, a metabolism boost & a belly routine to build muscle and maximize calorie burn!

So, now I’m going to read the next couple of chapters so I really know what I’m doing and then I’m definitely going to get started — it sounds good right??? I got the book on clearance at Barnes and Noble if you too what to try the “Flat Belly Diet” you could also go to flatbellydiet.com where I’m going after I post this so I can calculate my BMI.

Now coincidentally, Rachel Ray had a ‘happiness expert’ on this morning….and as fake a title as I think that is she said a few interesting things that could be of use to the new mission of the blog:

• Smile more
• Say ‘thank you’ & ‘I love you’
• Build up gratitude
• Change the word ‘but’ to ‘and’ when talking about good things with negatives attached to them

She also talked about the causes of happiness/unhappiness – your happiness apparently is influenced 50%  by genetics, 40% by things you can control and 10% by life circumstance….interesting.

And now I’m off carry these lessons out!

Also, I really really just want to make a movie — I made three over the summer (short of course but still) – even if it’s stupid and silly I just really want to film something and then edit it and show it to people.

In other news I am in fact throwing a dinner party. Since I discovered a love of cooking over this winter break I’ve decided to show off my new found skills and impress my friends and have a real grown up type night where we act like the [near] 20 something we are…I’m debating what to cook and have poured through probably every dinner party website known to man. I’ll keep you posted on my progress

Since I last wrote I saw the musical Hair and it was phenomenal!!!! I loved it (I knew I would) and was literally bouncing up and down by the end — in fact, I started the orchestra level standing ovation!!!!!!! AND THEN after the cast did their bows they invited people to come onstage to dance! Well, I don’t think it’s necessary to say I stampeded that stage!!! I was jumping up and down, screaming and singing and waving my hands in the air like you would never believe – and people who know me probably wouldn’t believe this because in life I truly am a very reserved person but the show lighted such a passion in me that I just totally let loose, let go and was free — and I danced and sang on a BROADWAY STAGE!!! That used to be my dream – before I realized I was definitely meant for behind the scenes work

Anyway, go see Hair it was amazing — and Gavin Creel totally touched my shoulder at the stage door when I told him how I saw them at the National Equality March in D.C back in Oct. — he thanked me for being there and it felt like a really genuine moment.It capped an already wonderful night.

So now, I will  be rocking out to Hair all the time and am considering becoming a hippie. lol – or at least throwing a hippie themed party….hmmm….

Peace.

Looking back on 2009,

A lot of things happened to and changed for me and for the world, some of them being:

- We have a new president, making history as the first African-American in that position

- I went to film school

-The country (and the world really) went into a recession, causing economic turmoil globally

-I marched in D.C in support of gay rights

-I learned I can be popular as a result of recognition for the work I do

And:

I came to a few realizations:

1) Marriage is not the be all and end all, I think I would actually enjoy living the single life.

2) I’m not sure I want to have kids

3) A home is not your house, it’s the feeling you feel while in your house.

So to quote John Lennon – Another year’s over and a new one’s just begun…what will 2010 hold??? What will change? What won’t?

We’ll just have to see — in the meantime my NYC on a budget post will be up tomorrow night J

Have a good night & Happy New ear – I hope it’s a good one for you!